“What do you do?” My least favorite question of all, yet it is inevitable when meeting someone new. How do I explain what I do when I do nothing. All of my actions are initiated and carried out from somewhere beyond me. I am not the doer. I really want to answer “be in life” but I’ve tried that before and most people just laugh then say, “Yeah but what do you really do.” In a culture of so much doing, it is hard to explain my perspective of just being. This idea is something I recently began to embody.
I was a doer for the majority of my life. Getting degrees, going to trainings, learning, studying, building, creating, working, striving, grasping, etc… All of these active, outwardly reaching, results oriented movements have consumed me for over 30 years. I say consumed because I always thought, if I just had that degree or that job or if I could just get in an art show or get published and the list goes on. These types of thoughts devoured my life because I was never content with where I was or what I had. I always knew there must be more. More to do, more to see, more to learn, more to make, more to have, more more more.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that studying, learning, working and the like should be eradicated from life. I’m proposing that these things become meditations in themselves and are done simply for their own sake. Under today’s star of victory, Uttara Ashadha, I am beginning anew. It is time to fully allow the integration of the galactic center with this human self I currently inhabit. What do I do? I rest in listening. I invite the great cosmic being to act through me. Everything else is merely a side effect of that open invitation.
So I send this maddening question on to you. What do you do? No, what do you really do?